


sorry, goodbye

by whitepaint



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:09:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23197621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitepaint/pseuds/whitepaint
Summary: Jaehyun had wanted to be the anchor
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	sorry, goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: self-projection
> 
> To Filipino readers, you might want to listen to Moira's Patawad, Paalam while reading.

When his mom warned him, he didn’t listen. That was the first time in his life that he totally disregarded his mother’s words. Many called his actions irrational, but never reckless. Thinking back, he knew the right word was reckless. And blind.

“He’s a restless soul, my child.”

When everything and everyone in that huge city told Renjun to leave, Jaehyun had wanted to be the reason he stayed. He had wanted Renjun to have a home with him. He had wanted to be the protection and the warmth Renjun kept seeking but couldn’t find anywhere. He had wanted to be the anchor.

“He’ll take your heart.”

He had _willingly given_ his heart. He had given Renjun everything. He never once thought of holding back. _Everything_ had been (is) for Renjun. And Renjun took. He held everything that was given to him securely in his hands like precious china. He held onto Jaehyun’s heart like it’s made of glass.

“He’ll leave you one day.”

He did. Jaehyun hadn’t been shocked, he knew when it was coming. He had seen the signs. He had seen the tears. Renjun had prepared him for his disappearance. It had hurt, especially the hope that bloomed at the bottom of his heart when Renjun left all the things he told Jaehyun were of most importance to him. But it was probably the hope that cushioned his fall.

“He’ll leave you with nothing.”

In his room, Renjun had left a shoe box. He told Jaehyun that it has their hearts tied together tight with a red yarn string. It also has the glass jar that held their future. He had warned Jaehyun to never open it. He said he left it because he didn’t want to lose it, because it is important. Jaehyun never touched it, even years later.

“He’ll never come back.”

Jaehyun knew the possibility was huge. He knew the chances of him seeing Renjun again was closer to none. It never stopped him from loving Renjun. It never stopped him from believing Renjun deserved to be loved. He loved (loves) Renjun with every fibre of his being. Even when he had long been gone from Jaehyun’s life, he loved him so much.

[Renjun]

sorry my gorgeous i know you understand i love you forever

[Jaehyun]

i love you too please come back to me someday

[this number is inactive and won’t be able to receive your messages]

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @nctAUdump  
> curiouscat: Kaoruchan


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